Seven Assassins Walk into a Bar
Written and Directed by Dain Geist, Main Street Theater, 2025
Seven Assassins Walk into a Bar is a morality play - a dark comedy about a group of hitmen (and women) who gather to commiserate the passing of a colleague. As they swap stories and share complaints, each character brings with them their own moral compass and their own reasons for pursuing such a bloody profession. And as the night draws on, those reasons quickly come into conflict and create a fun, dramatic, and thought-provoking night of theatre.
“It’s this complex view that switches the play into fun territory while we in the audience wait for the inevitable explosion. Through the talk, we sit on the edge of our seats. That’s as good an example of theater we can think of. Please write another one, Mr. Geist.”
“Dain Geist has an ear for dialogue and a knack for characters. The cast is amazing, and they are having a blast blowing each other up with their weaponized words. This is all just way too enjoyable not to be a huge hit! I look forward to seeing what Dain does next, and I cheer on Main Street Theater for letting a Houston guy direct his first script.”
“Yet, as what I think is Mr. Geist’s first full-length play, ‘Seven Assassins’ creates a thirst to see him write and stage more. If this play is a predictor, he has the talent to make audiences run up a hefty tab at his tap.”
“When a play is essentially six people in a room having a conversation, sometimes, the characters can blend, and they lack a unique voice. It becomes difficult to distinguish between what each believes and how they stand out as individuals. However, Geist, as both writer and director, shines at making each character a distinct person.”